We often hear it said that Judaism is a religion that is meant to be lived in community. And in many ways that is true. But with the rise of virtual connections and engagement, Jewish community has become global. People in Iowa tune in for Shabbat in New York, Jews in Japan attend online services in Los Angeles, and everything in between. Jews who aren’t living near other Jews have much greater options for feeling connected than they did just a few years ago.
It can feel daunting to think about going it alone for B’nai Mitzvah, but these suggestions should help get you started. Each of them is a way to celebrate in community, whether virtually or in person.
Seek Out Virtual Community
If it works for your child and your family, look for an online community where you can celebrate together. During the pandemic, synagogues got very good at creating rituals via Zoom, and many of them continue to do so. Your child can get a Jewish education and prepare for the B’nai Mitzvah virtually, and then you can celebrate together that way. This is a good option if celebrating with a group of people that you know and have built a relationship with over time is important to your family.
Make It a Destination Celebration
If you would rather have an in-person ceremony, many synagogues in Israel and around the world will host B’nai Mitzvah services, and they have the infrastructure to help you prepare for the service. To make it more meaningful, your child can research different Jewish communities and choose one with which to celebrate, so that they know something about the place beforehand. This option isn’t for everyone, but if you want to bring your family together in an interesting location, and you have the resources to do so, this can be an unforgettable experience.
Choose Your Own Adventure
Finally, the most time-intensive but also potentially the most rewarding experience is to design a ritual that works within your current community, even if most of the guests may not be Jewish. There are independent Jewish educators and clergy who can work with you in the short or long term to create something meaningful for your child and your family. Remember, the milestone is about your child reaching the age of majority and declaring that they want to participate fully in the Jewish community. It can be celebrated in many ways, and a ritual can be created to reflect what that means to your child and your family.
About the Author
Rabbi Rebecca Rosenthal is the Senior Director of Youth and Family Education at Central Synagogue, where she oversees programming for families and children of all ages, including the nursery school, religious school, teen programming, and family programs. She holds a bachelor’s degree from Yale University and was ordained as a rabbi and received a master’s degree in Jewish education from the Jewish Theological Seminary, where she was a Wexner fellow. She lives in New York City with her husband and three children.
More
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I’m Not Sure My Child Can Handle a Typical B’Nai Mitzvah, What Should We Do?
The Virtual Bar/Bat Mitzvah Checklist via kveller.com
January 13, 2026