If you are a parent, a grandparent or, really, any adult, it is likely you have had a version of the conversation that appears over and over in my group chats. How do we live like this? Have people always been this stressed? I’m scared about the world we live in. And if you are responsible for caring for children, it takes on a new layer, since the children in our care pick up on feelings, thoughts, and fears of the adults around them.
Perhaps we can be comforted that this is not a new problem for the Jewish people. Throughout our history, Jews have gone through many difficult moments, and have always come out on the other side. And the way we have done that is by embracing Jewish joy, often through holiday celebrations.
Judaism has never seen joy as discounting pain. In fact, true Jewish joy comes from acknowledging the pain we are feeling, but also celebrating the fact that we are here, in this present moment, and are able to celebrate together. This is something that is hard for adults, but comes intuitively to many kids. Even if they are feeling sad or are going through something difficult, their faces light up at the sight of balloons at a birthday party, a favorite food, or a hug from a loved one.
And so, let us take all we are feeling into the holiday season, and use that to find the joy. If you regularly celebrate the holidays, find ways to celebrate even more. Perhaps your family can bake round challah together for the new year, go apple picking, try different kinds of honey or other sweet foods, or create elaborate decorations for a sukkah.
We can also find joy by working to bring joy to others. Sukkot is a holiday that asks us to remember the vulnerable in our community, so find a place where you can volunteer, make sandwiches and distribute them to those in need, or call a friend or a family member who is sick. The stronger we build the connections to our community, the stronger our networks of support in hard times, and celebration in joyful ones.
Finally, remember that the Jewish people have always built our rhythm around Shabbat. Every week, no matter what else is going on, we take time for a taste of a better world. Even in our people’s darkest time, Shabbat has been a beacon of light, hope, and joy. So find a way to bring Shabbat into your life, whether by lighting candles and eating challah, pausing to be together with your family and friends, or doing an activity together with them that makes you feel joyful.
It is going to take a conscious effort to find joy this year, but the Jewish calendar can guide us on that path. It asks us to find joy not in spite of our pain, but together with our pain. So if you are feeling like it is all too much, try to take one small step towards joy. You may find that the joy was there all along. You just need to uncover the spark.
About the Author
Rabbi Rebecca Rosenthal is the Senior Director of Youth and Family Education at Central Synagogue, where she oversees programming for families and children of all ages, including the nursery school, religious school, teen programming, and family programs. She holds a bachelor’s degree from Yale University and was ordained as a rabbi and received a master’s degree in Jewish education from the Jewish Theological Seminary, where she was a Wexner fellow. She lives in New York City with her husband and three children.
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