The three ritual elements of havdalah may feel familiar (with a twist):
Candlelight is the way Shabbat began, so now it’s also the way it ends — the glowing bookends of Shabbat. Instead of two simple candles in candlesticks — what we usually light when blessing the candles on Friday night — we now hold one long candle that is braided (like a challah!) and has many wicks. The multiple wicks represent how distinct souls come together to celebrate Shabbat. In a family, we’re each unique, yet we’re all “in it together” — and likewise for the Jewish people and for humanity. The intense multiwick light casts dancing shadows on the walls and, during the ceremony, on the fingers of our outstretched hands. This contrast between light and shadow represents how each week we separate between the work week and the day of rest, a true differentiation of time.
Wine or grape juice is the go-to Jewish drink to sanctify any special moment. We drink wine or grape juice at kiddush on Friday night (and for some families, on Shabbat day as well). At havdalah, instead of simply drinking the grape juice, we also douse the candle’s flame in it, a sizzling marker of the end of Shabbat and the beginning of a fresh new week.
Aromatic spices let us recall the wonderful smells of Shabbat cooking and challah baking. At havdalah, when we gather spices (often cloves and cinnamon) in a spice box or pass around freshly picked spices from our garden, we’re inviting the sweet fragrance and simple joys of Shabbat to linger as we enter a new week. And remember the classic idea of receiving a “second soul” on Shabbat? An additional explanation for spices at havdalah is to revive us — sort of like smelling salts, but sweeter — as we feel that second soul departing from us..
Related: PJ Library's Shabbat Hub
More
Should You Try Havdalah?
Why Do Parents Bless Children on Shabbat?
Welcome to the Shabbat Table Video Playlist for Kids