September is almost here, which means that kids all over the country are headed back to school, and parents are, well, stressed out.
Yes, the transition is real, and transitions are rarely easy, but there are ways to make them easier. Here are some tips to get you started.
Expect your kids to be exhausted
Between the new schedules, new teachers, new information, and everything else, your kids are going to be wiped out when they get home in the afternoons and especially exhausted by the end of the week. This might look like irritability, increased anxiety, or general grumpiness, but if you expect it and plan for it, it won’t be as annoying.
Try this:
Take advantage of Shabbat. Your family needs a day of rest, whatever that looks like to you. It could be Friday night pizza, sending your kids to synagogue daycare while you attend services, trading parenting time with a partner or friend, or whatever helps you all feel a little more rested at the end of the day.
Sleep!
On a related note: everyone needs more sleep than you think they do (including you!). In an ideal world, your kids will be getting at least 9-11 hours of sleep every night. And we parents need at least 8. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.
Try this:
Have the whole family get ready for bed right after dinner, even if you’re not going to sleep in the near future. It’s so much easier for everyone to put on pajamas and brush teeth when they're not totally exhausted.
Get into a routine as soon as possible
Routines are magical because predictability lowers everyone’s anxiety and not having to make as many decisions is always a good thing. Don’t worry about finding the perfect routine. Instead, focus on a plan that works for you and stick to it as long as it’s working!
Try this:
Write out the routine ahead of time so you can refer your children to it often. (Also, studies have found that people are more likely to follow rules that are written out!)
Take advantage of the transition
It’s a great time to mix things up. The change of seasons and schedules is a natural time to try out new rules and routines (especially around screen time!).
Try this:
It’s always better to start with more structure; you can always loosen things up later.
Minimize the morning chaos
Very few of us are at our best first thing in the day, so the fewer decisions we have to make and discussions we have to have, the better. There are lots of ways to do this, including using checklists and reducing choices, so pick the ones that work for your family.
Try this:
Try to identify the pain points and reduce the number of options around them. If you’re always bickering about water bottles, then pick one water bottle and use it. Hide the other ones if you have to, and don’t bring them out until things have settled down. (Or never, whichever you prefer.)
Go easy on everyone (that includes you)
Transitions are hard for everyone, and you don’t have to be a perfect parent to be a great one.
Try this:
The next time things fall apart (which they will, because that’s how the world works), try to imagine what your best friend would say to you in the moment. My guess is they probably wouldn’t tell you what a terrible parent you are. Instead, they’d talk about a time when everything went sideways for them, and they would remind you that just because things are hard, it doesn’t mean you’re doing them wrong.
More
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